The pineapple king
by ManDea
Summary: That's the last time Ace buys a pineapple on discount. Rated M for awkward naked pineapples.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Beta'd by Aerle. **

Ace was halfway passing the outside market when something to the side caught his eye and made his heart jump. He turned to the first basket of fruits, his hand shaking slightly as he reached out and cuffed it around the most interesting one of all, even if he knew what a pineapple was and how it looked. Before his sanity could even come back, Ace had already purchased the fruit with a grin on his face. He didn't understand completely why, but it made him feel warmer than any of his pyrotechnics and felt oddly nostalgic.

Ace set the pineapple down on the counter from where it had been tucked away safely along with him inside his jacket. He was still grinning when he bent down to be at eye level with it, resting his chin on the edge of the counter like a hopeful child and reaching out to play with it a little curiously, watching as its weight caused it to waddle.  
"I'm so calling you Marco."

* * *

Ace frowned, looking at his dear fruit of a friend. He wasn't looking so well these days and it had even prompted the freckled faced boy to do some googling. Pineapples only had so long before they would rot, but for some reason this pineapple had already lasted longer than any other, a good three weeks. But even so, all things came to an end and Ace supposed if he was going to eat his pineapple friend Marco, he might as well get to it, he'd hate to see him go to a waste anyway. He picked him up gently, caressing him in his arm and trying to wonder how exactly he was even suppose to go about this. What was he suppose to do, just bite into it like a hard fruit? Shrugging, since he usually just engulfed things anyway like his brother did, he brought the pineapple to his mouth and ignored its spikes as he took one bite. His eyes widened though, the texture instantly changing to something more, squishy and life like. He dropped his grasp at what wasn't nearly a pineapple anymore, but a man, a very attractive man at that who sat stark naked on the edge of his counter and looked down at him. "Ow."

"You.. You were a pineapple…" Ace said stunned, backing away from the counter with a blush consuming his cheeks and rising to the tips of his ears. His eyes just couldn't stop checking out the frame that was his now human pineapple. Marco, now human, had already had his few moments of looking at his new body before just shrugging it off and rubbing at the bite mark on his arm, then he looked over at his attacker. "Ace…? Right?"  
Ace swallowed thickly. Okay, so it knew how to talk and maybe he had introduced himself to a fucking fruit once upon a time. He nodded.  
"I'm cold."  
That's when reality hit him and he realized he wasn't being a very courteous host. He told Marco to stay there as he dashed from the kitchen and into his bed room, taking a moment to just breath and try and realize what the hell was going on. He grabbed some pants, thinking mostly of his own dressing routine and returned back, gazing down Marco's body from afar as he approached because damn, if he'd known this would happen he would have started buying fruits and eating better a lot sooner. He handed him the clothes. Marco took them, but then just gazed down at them in confusion..  
"Lemme guess," Ace sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "You don't... know how to wear clothes either?"

Marco was sitting on the counter, carefully observing his new body while it was still completely uncovered. He prodded his new skin which was smooth and soft unlike the one he had as a fruit. It reminded him of the first time Ace brought him home, kissed his rough skin, caressed his leaves then gave him a soft pillow that was his and his alone. Ace stumbled back into the room and Marco smiled affectionately at the freckled man that cared for him.

Ace just sighed. Great, so this guy fruit thing didn't know how to put clothes on. How the hell was he even suppose to show him how to do this? He sighed, gesturing to his pants. "These are pants. You put your legs in them and pull them up. Can you do that?"  
Marco just kept staring though, his brows sort of furrowing before one just raised. "I'm still cold," he explained.  
Ace face palmed. Okay, he got that, but that didn't help their situation, now did it? So, being spontaneous, Ace dropped his shorts, trying to act oblivious to the spark of interest from his new pineapple human who didn't know he too had these interesting human parts. Because to Ace, what were even boxers?  
"Alright, so you hold it like this.. step in like this… pull it up…" He grunted, a little annoyed cause he was trying to take this slow to show him. Then, grinning he stood up straight. "See like that- whoa."  
He almost stumbled back, Marco being right in front of him and watching him curiously. He reached out, touching Ace's face gently with a stern expression before lowering his chest. Then, without warning he grabbed Ace and hugged him close, the memory of when Ace had stored him away in his jacket after they left the market that chilly day coming back to him. He smiled warmly. "Not cold."  
Ace remained silent... This... was going to be interesting.

Unlatching Marco from his body was not exactly easy and he couldn't really say he wanted to do it, but somehow he did. The blond man needed some clothes and fast, otherwise the whole situation might end up weirder than it already was. Handing him the pair of pants he had gotten earlier, Ace said: "Here, put these on like I showed you."

Marco took the pants before glancing down his body, making Ace foolishly follow his gaze. That had not, by far, been the first time Ace had seen a stark naked and fully aroused man, but it might have been the most interesting. Obviously, the former fruit was confused by his new state of affairs, at least for a moment, before tracing the blond happy trail with his fingers and grabbing his fully erect member. Ace was shocked, albeit slightly aroused as well, but his jaw was slack and the possibility of a blush was not to be excluded. After two short strokes, he finally collected himself enough to utter four simple words.

"What are you doing?"

Marco stopped for a moment to glance at Ace with an all too innocent look on his face. "I saw you doing this every time it happened."

Ace was horrified at the mention of things he had done in front of a pineapple, but it was the fact he would have to explain things like these to the other that made him cringe.

Marco winced slightly, a hush breath leaving between his lips as he continued to stroke, the memory of how his Ace had done this very same practice fresh in his mind. It was an unusual sensation, definitely not something he had ever experienced before in his short life as a pineapple. Human beings were really interesting, he had to admit. He was too focused to even notice that Ace's hand went up and behind his head to awkwardly scratch at the back of his neck.

The raven haired man honestly had no idea what the hell he was suppose to do in this sort of situation. Technically the fruit wasn't wrong, he'd jerked off many times and it was a way to get rid of an erection, but how the hell did he get him to stop?

"Okay... But oi, you aren't suppose to do that in public! That's something to do when you're at home!" Ace tried to teach.

Marco hesitated another stroke, bracing himself and lifting his head to look over at the handsome other with a flushed face.

"This... isn't our home?" he asked.

Ace wasn't sure why but the way the former fruit had said those words had him feeling a bit more strange. He might have announced to a pineapple once upon a time this was their place, but he never would have guessed it would understand and remember. He sighed, his face softening. Shit, this was so weird and he didn't even know what to say in explanation anymore.

"No... it is... it's just..." He couldn't find the right words at all.

So instead he just took a step forward, his mouth growing dry, before reaching out and putting his hand on Marco's shoulder.

"Come on let's finished getting you... clothed and stuff, yeah?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Updates might be slow, but we swear they will be worth it :D**

Admittedly, the pineapple human was as attractive as ever in those jeans that might have been on the tight side, but Ace would certainly have the other's naked body invading his dreams for a while. With a sudden appearance of a naked man in his kitchen, Ace was painfully reminded of how long it had in fact been since there even was a naked person beside him in the apartment.

"I'm still cold," Marco muttered, looking generally conflicted about the tight pants. They'd definitely need some new bigger clothes for him. Clothes. Right, normal people wore shirts as well; something he hadn't bothered with when getting clothes for the pineapple. Come to think of it, he only brought him the pants. No underwear or anything. Well, he'd have to work on that.

With a sigh, Ace took one last look at the blond before turning to his room and digging out a soft grey hoodie. That should fit, he figured, saddened by the fact the other would be fully covered. A shame, really, but what else could he do? Even as attractive as Marco was, Ace couldn't really act on it considering how oblivious the former pineapple was about sexual attraction and, no doubt, any emotions as well. He returned to the blond and found him still standing by the counter.

"Here," he said as he handed the hoodie to his new roommate then groaned in exasperation. "You don't know how to put it on, do you?" he asked. This was getting a bit old, honestly, since Ace's strong suit had always been stripping hot guys, not dressing them. Marco shook his head in reply and observed Ace expectantly, waiting for him to help. What the hell, Ace thought as he walked closer to the blond and took back the hoodie from the other's hands. Well, at least he couldn't call his life boring anymore.

"Lift your arms," he instructed and watched as the other obeyed without complaint, a surge of excitement rushing through him at the display of stretching muscles before his eyes. It was already clear to him that he'd be losing his mind with the odd blond if he continued that kind of behavior and it was a fairly safe bet that the other would remain as oblivious for a while. Ace lifted the hoodie and pulled it onto the blond, all the while thinking about the fact he might be stuck with a hot blond in his apartment for a really long time. Where else could he sent the guy, anyway? He wouldn't be able to make it on his own with the whole not knowing how to be human thing. He was pulling the hoodie down and over the other's all too well toned chest, finally hiding the distracting mass of muscle which should have been impossible for a former pineapple.

"There," Ace said as he observed the fully dressed man for a moment, before pulling the hoodie off again.

Shaking his head to stop the less than chaste images popping into his mind, Ace told the blond to put his arms down and handed him the hoodie yet again. "Now you do it."

Marco pouted his lips, looking at Ace with slight doubt. Really, this human should trust him a little more, as he had trusted him the entire time he'd been in this home, fruit or not. Ace could have thrown him out with the rest of the fruits in his kitchen but he had opted not to, that was trust. So could he at least trust him to have observed him enough to know how this second piece of cloth worked?

Either way, Marco shrugged it off and put his arms into the largest opening, tunneling through it until he met it's collar and stopped. There was something wrong with this contraption. Frantically he spun in the direction of amused chuckles. Fuck, Ace was watching too! This was embarrassing, humans did nothing but make embarrassing things. He wanted to be comfortable as himself, why did he have to drape such foolish things over him?

"Well that's one thing that didn't change." Ace muttered though, approaching the pineapple man and touching his side gently, to let him know that he was there.

Next he reached up and gently tugged the top of the hoodie down and over Marco's oval head and face, grinning softly at the tiniest of flush on his cheeks. He was like a big kid and it reminded him of someone else he occasionally had to get dressed that he was actually related to.

Marco averted his eyes stubbornly. He really thought at least that of human tasks he could muster, having Ace done it at least once, maybe twice during his stay. But it didn't matter, now he was slightly warmer on his top and could no longer feel his bottom. What was this referred to again on the televison? Ah, fashion.

"I don't like fashion." Marco scowled, furrowing his brows as he watched his hand vanish into the pocket in the front of this hoodie.

Ace cocked his head slightly to the side. "How the hell do you know what that means?"

The pineapple man glanced up, moving his chin to the side and gesturing to the black box in the corner, currently off.

"That used to talk to me, when you sat me there." His eyes gestured back to the counter directly across the apartment.

"Oh." Ace was baffled. This pineapple caught on fast didn't he? It was really weird but fascinating at the same time. He reached out and nudged his arm, getting his attention back. "Well don't worry about that, it's not important. What do you say about us getting you some real clothes huh?"

"I can't feel these 'legs'."

Ace face palmed. "It's fine we'll get you out of those soon enough, alright? Just bare with me for now." A chill ran down his spine however when he glanced up, catching the grin of his fruity roommate.

"That was your favorite part of that thing." He gestured once more to the television. "When it told you it'd get you out of your pants."

Ace would never admit it, but he could almost feel his face heat up and a blush form. That's right, he did things that would be considered weird to people, but really. How could he have known that a discount pineapple would turn into a hot guy?! And the damn bastard seemed to be less oblivious that Ace had presumed at first, judging from the predatory grin on the blond's face.

"Come on, we're going for a walk," Ace said, needed the walk in the chilly air more to act as a cold shower than to actually walk, but the blond didn't need to know that. He was smug enough already for a former pineapple. Though, the fact the blond learned about all things sexual from observing Ace and his choice of adult movies could benefit him eventually... No! Ace mentally slapped himself and quickly disappeared into the hall before another blush possibly broke out.

Fortunately for his sanity, Ace managed to find some boots big enough for the damn pineapple and a jacket so he wouldn't freeze, or worse, try to cuddle him at random times in random places. If only Ace wasn't a cuddler himself; it was only worse when he wanted to give in to temptation. But he couldn't, the pineapple needed a different introduction to the human race. Not like he hadn't seen enough of Ace's perverted side already. He swore he would never forgive himself for jerking off in front of a fruit for three weeks and he would definitely never do it again. God forbid he gets stuck with another fruit human. Could that even happen?

That does it, Ace grabbed the boots and jacket with a grumble, deciding to never buy fruit ever again. The blond seemed to notice the irritation on the freckled face, though, and he was in front of the man in no time.

"Are you okay? We don't have to go out if you don't want to," he said, his hands casually caressing Ace's suddenly abnormally hot cheeks as he stared at the blond with his mouth agape. Kissing him would be so easy... Ace thought for a moment, but snapped out of it just as quickly as he had been caught by the blond.

"No, you need clothes that fit. We're going," Ace said with a grumpy huff and dropped the boots in front of Marco, leaving his side only to get a pair of socks. "You know how to put these on?" he asked skeptically, but sighed in relief when Marco nodded. Even if it was with a face that suggested Ace was a complete moron. People might think he was, dressing a pineapple and all.

After needing only a bit of help with shoelaces, and Ace really didn't hold that one against the other, they made their way out into the sunny, but still fairly cold air. As they walked in silence, the blond looking around in amazement, Ace noticed probably the millionth mistake of the day; he would probably have to dress the blond once they found him some clothes to try on.


End file.
